If you had five billion you could hop from job to job, calling entitled customers idiots all across your city, putting the fear of You into every shithead in town until people become afraid to be rude to servers and cashiers, lest you emerge from the back room like some kind of manners-enforcing specter
It’s my grandpa’s birthday next week and he said “I don’t want to be 85” and my grandmother, his wife of 59 and a half years, said “well your only alternative is to die”, I can’t believe how affectionate they are
I was having lunch with them today and my grandpa started throwing napkins at my grandmother, and she balled it up and looked all set to throw it back but then she put it down and said “I will not throw it because I was brought up properly, you were dragged” she has spent ¾ of her life with this man
my new thing has been just… acting on my ideas. like i thought maybe my desk would look better on a different part of my room so i like. moved it? just like that! i ripped an old anatomy book and stuck the diagrams up on my wall like some kind of old timey victorian doctor. i wanted a starbucks and i walked one and a half miles back and forth in a floridian storm and goddamn it was a good coffee. life is too short babey if you think of something just do it. nike
